3 Simple Steps for MilSpouses to Publish & Grow Social Media Influence with Rietta Boksha

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You know, we get caught up in money being our only ways of viewing success. And my husband had to be like, your book is published, it's in libraries, people can read it that is success. Like just because you haven't made a million dollars doesn't mean it's not successful. And that really hit me. It's not just about the money I make. It's the fact that I did it.

Orders fall in, it's time for formation. Thank you for joining us today. Today, we're going to be joined by a military spouse. Before we get into that intro, I want to introduce my co host, Avi, Don Raj. Avi, how're you doing today?

Hello, everybody. It's good to be here.

Our guest is actually recording from the state of Hawaii right now. So she is three hours behind us even on the west coast. So she's got her morning brew on and hopefully she's got the caffeine pumped through her veins right now. And I want to ask everyone you know, who says a military spouse can't have their own business write pages and pages of inspiring books be a social media influencer to 1000s of folks. And all the while running the household when the military spouse and of the family is away, either in the field or on a combat deployment. You know, in times past military spouses were known to have their hands full taking care of the kids, managing the daily household tasks, running and operating the Family Readiness groups, and many held down a full time job or salary job while doing all this. And today's military spouse definitely breaks the mold. And I have one of those outstanding spouses with me today. And her name is Miss reata bookshop, who has written two romantic novels, is published. She also runs a full time podcast with her cousin. And she's fully engaged on social media as an influencer on specifically Instagram. So thank you for joining us today in the formation Reatta.

Wow, what a what an intro. Thank you. Thanks for having me.

That blow your socks off?

Yeah, I don't think I've ever had so many nice things said about me in one one swoop.

That's what we're all about here. And I understand Reatta just from knowing you. I've known you for a very long time. Basically, since we started since I bought a microphone and started doing this podcast thing. I understand. I understand. I've learned over the the time that we've known each other You're from the Chicagoland area. Would you mind telling us a little bit more about you where you're from? Whether you attended college and what were you doing before you became a part of the military community?

Yeah, absolutely. So yeah, like you said, I'm from a Southwest suburb of Chicago, about 45 minutes. Grew up there. I loved it. I miss it. Talk about the best food in the world. I'm sure some people will disagree, but we have the best food. I did go to college, I went to Southern Illinois University Carbondale so I was as far away from my parents like could be, but still be in the state of Illinois. It was like the perfect combo. And I actually met my husband. That's where I met. My husband was in college. We were actually both in Air Force ROTC. Just kind of funny that he ended up in the Marine Corps. But we started off in Air Force ROTC together. I studied kinesiology, exercise science. So I was a personal trainer for gosh, 12 years before I finally made the shift to become an author was kind of when COVID happened and my husband was deployed. So I finally had no excuses not to do it anymore. I didn't, I quit my job, because we had moved, I actually had moved back in with my parents, which talk about interesting to move back in with your parents when you're 30 and have a child but we won't go down that road. But I wasn't working a traditional job anymore for the first time since I was like, Gosh, 15. So I had no excuses about not writing anymore. I thought about it for seven years, and I finally didn't have an excuse. So I spent that entire deployment, writing a book, getting it edited publishing it. And that was when it all got done. Other than that, I love music. I love hiking. And I guess that's it really nothing too crazy exciting.

As you know, I'm actually was born and grew up part of my life in the state of Hawaii. So it's quite interesting how literally, you could plan to do anything outdoors, say fish surf, go hiking or whatever. And on one side of the island, if it's raining the other side it's not going to be so you can follow through with your daily plans on like how it is here in the mainland. And yeah, your Instagram is is very outstanding and to get things straight. You actually married Kyle, he joined the Marines and then you move back in with your parents and that's when you started writing.

Yeah, so we had a very up and down relationship. You know, when we met we were 17. So if we had gotten married then it would have never worked out so it was one of those like, break get back together, break up, get back together situations, I was actually engaged to somebody else, when my husband got back in touch with me. And I called off a wedding and married him like a month later. So that's why I ended up writing one of the books because anytime I told anybody that story, they're like, that is like a notebook story, you need to write that down. So that's how that book came about. So I didn't actually marry him until he was already in the Marine Corps. He was in what's called Soi, which is the School of infantry. That's where they go after boot camp. So I mean, I married him shortly after, but he had already gone through boot camp and everything. So we reconnected, he was in California. And yeah, I married him and moved out here. My dad was absolutely terrified.

Yeah, oh, as always, in joining the military, and then also male marrying into the military is is terrifying in itself, because it's stepping outside your comfort zone. And I just wanted to underline that because I wanted to figure out, you know, what, what point did you decide to become an author? And it sounds like you had a lot going on at the time, and you saw an opportunity. And speaking of the military life, what did you think it would be versus what it actually is becoming a military spouse? Did you have any preconceived notions or expectations before you married Kyle, and he joined the Marines.

I'm trying to say, I don't think I really had any preconceived notions, I was definitely nervous because I moved from the Chicagoland area all the way to California. So you know, you're talking a couple 1000 miles from home. So if things did go south, I didn't have anybody. I was in a brand new place that I'd never I'd never been to California before. And I think that's why my dad was so worried. He was like, if something happens, where it's not like I'm an hour away, and I can come save you. I didn't really expect to be welcomed in as much as I was. I think I got lucky with some people that were around us, we had some really good families around us that were very welcoming. It's not always that way, which we've talked about KP on clubhouse, how it can be really hard and intimidating for new wives, because you don't get a welcoming wagon, when you show up, you're just kind of thrown into it. And you don't really have anything to go by. It's not like the Marines that they get a mentor that helps them when they go to a new duty station, or they go wherever. So I was a little, I guess, Lucky. And it's definitely my perception has changed a lot. But you know, I've learned a lot as I've gone, gone along, and you just got to kind of roll with the punches. You have to be flexible. And

I think a lot of it has to do with personality as well. If you're an extrovert, an open personality, bubbly, easy to get along with, I think your time to gel, anywhere that you go, is much easier than it would be being anything opposite of that. So Rihanna, it sounds like you were inspired to start writing your first book, based off of a real life situation that you had. So was that first book similar to what you had gone through in your real life? Or were you inspired beforehand, at some point of wanting to become an author,

I've always been a storyteller. When I was a kid, my grandpa bought me a tape recorder. So this is obviously going to age me because some people aren't even going to know what a tape recorder is. But he bought me a tape recorder. And I used to record myself telling stories about my talking family now house. So I was always telling stories. And I wrote my first book, if you want to call it that, when I was 14, it's horrible. It was something you know, that 14 year olds go through talking about trouble with friends. I don't even remember, I still have it, though. So I've always writing has always been in me. My mom saved everything I ever wrote. She was like, I knew you were gonna do something with it. So she knew. But I didn't start taking it seriously until then. And when everybody kept telling me that I needed to write down the story between my husband and I, I was like, You know what, I need to do this. And so I finally did so yes, it's, it's a lot of the book. Most of it is based on things that did happen to me a crappy relationship that I had before my husband, how we met the whole trials and tribulations of our relationship. The feelings I went through having to call off a wedding, all the things and it's I've had so many people reach out and like, wow, this this all really happened to you. And I'm like, Yeah, it did. That was my life for several years. And it was so hard because Kyle and I went back and forth and back and forth. And I you always wish that you'd get back together you know, you never forget your first love, they always say but never think it will actually happen. So when it did it was just it was like a movie.

And so what are the names that your of your two books that you've published so far?

So the first one which is the one that's about my husband night is called a walk to forever And then I did another book that is going to be a duet series. The second part of it isn't out yet. But the first one is called a dance to remember.

Yeah, I've seen, I've seen some of your posts on that. And I just want to talk about this real quick. Because when I was in the military, I, I personally didn't know of any spouses that were as as heavily involved as they are today. As far as having their own online businesses, writing books, such as like you, what advice would you give to a military spouse out there? Who is on the cusp of also wanting to do something such as you and actually get published? And, and kind of thinking that maybe they're not ready? Or maybe they're not good enough? What advice would you give to a military spouse in that situation?

I mean, honestly, I would say just do it. I mean, there's no reason not to. And I, there was a book that I read by Anne Lamott, it's called Bird by Bird. And something that she said in that book that really stuck with me, is shitty first drafts. So even if you write it in, it's shitty. And you wrote 20 pages, and maybe 10 of 10 of it's terrible, 10 of it's good, and you wouldn't have gotten the 10 good pages if you didn't write the 10 shitty ones. So you just have to write it, and know that it's going to need to be adjusted. And that editing is a part of writing. You can't take it personally, which something that was really hard for me was it's hard to pour your heart and soul onto a piece of paper, and then have somebody come back and be like, you need to fix this and this and this and this, but that's just part of the process. But you'll never get it done if you don't do it. So that's the first thing is you just have to, you have to do it. You can't stop yourself and question yourself, and with Amazon now and being able to publish yourself, it it's a total game changer. It's not like it used to be, you can publish on your own keep all most of the royalties and keep it in your name. You don't have to give anything away, and you can still publish it. So there's no reason, there's really no reason not to do it. Definitely, definitely agree there. Now, Rita was how much you've invested yourself into writing and authoring and diversifying yourself. I want to know, what lessons have you learned throughout the writing process? And as you said, failing and writing these drafts and all that? And how did that shape your perspective on life? Or even as a military spouse? Oh, that's a good question. Avi. Like I said, definitely learning not to take things personally, I've always been somebody that if somebody tells me something, I take things very to heart and very personally, and not everybody is going to like your work. First of all, there's going to be one side reviews, that's just how it goes. You know, not everybody is gonna like your story, especially, you know, some stories that are more sexy, you know, people that are not into that are not gonna like it, and that's okay. And just embracing the editing process, knowing that it's not a personal attack, it's them helping you make it be better, you know, your it's going to be better after you edited. So that was one of the things that was hardest for me. And I don't even look at my reviews most of the time. Because you don't need to do that to yourself. I mean, you can look at them. Sometimes people believe looking at them to help you improve. Like, if people actually write it, a lot of times people that leave one star reviews don't write anything. And I feel like they do that just to bug you about the people that actually take the time to write like, why they didn't like it a lot of times can help you they can say, you know, you lost me here because the story trailed off or whatever it might be. So take it as a lesson instead of a critique. Because it's not. Most people are trying to be helpful. I mean, of course, there are the ones that just like to put their opinion out there, but take it with a grain of salt. Yeah, exactly. There's always going to be trolls. Which KP knows now that he's got all his Malaysian followers. Now easy to use. No, just

kidding. No, no, that that's hilarious, actually. And you were one of the first one of the you were one of the first people that I spoke to after that happened. I was like, No, and that's a story for another time. And obviously, we can cover that maybe on a I don't know, a post or something else that we do. It's going back to you. Is being an author everything that you thought it would be? Oh,

that's another good question. Um, yes, and no, I guess. I, I think I expected to do better faster, I guess. Or I guess I expected to reach more people at first. And, you know, we get caught up in money being our only ways of viewing success. And my husband had to be like, your book is published, it's in libraries. People can read it. That is success. Like just because you haven't made a million dollars doesn't mean it's not successful. And that really hit me because I was like, shit, he's right. It's not just about the money I make. It's the fact that I did it,

too. There's two things that you just mentioned that I want to point out. Everyone is, you know, you simply have to just get started. It doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't have to be fresh out of the box, the you know, like an Apple iPhone and it's ready to be turned on and, and just put in your information and ready to go. You got to get you got to get, first of all, take that first step, whatever that may be. And it was the same thing with me with podcasting. And there's someone on YouTube that I listened to, and I watch. He's a influencer when it comes to doing YouTube. And his name's Sean canal, and he's from Think Media. And at the beginning of his show, he always says you just got to press record. And he's right. And you have to go through those trials and tribulations in order to in order to make something of yourself.

Absolutely. It's the same thing. Like I started to teach myself ukulele and I was terrible. I was absolutely terrible for us. But the only way you're going to learn is to keep strumming, and your family may be like, Oh, my god, stop. I can't listen to you anymore. Yeah, I did it. Anyway, I went outside, I sat on the patio. I did it with my dad, it was something me and my dad could do together. But the only way you get better is to do it. Definitely. I agree with that wholeheartedly. Now realize something else we love to preach on the morning formation podcast is how important utilizing the resources around you is. And as a military spouse, there are so many opportunities to capitalize any situation. Now, were there any programs, courses or benefits that you personally utilize as a male spouse in order to launch or further your career or success as a podcast and author? Actually, no. I kind of I bootstrapped everything. I had a girlfriend that I actually went to college with. That is a podcaster. She's a very successful podcast, she runs the plane people's podcast, and she helped me get the podcast going. She told me you know how to set it up and do all that. So she was really the only person that when I reached out to her, she's like, Girl, I got you. We got this, we're gonna bootstrap it. So I literally bootstrapped everything. But there are a lot of amazing resources in the military spouse community. I actually just talked to kp about some last week, because I'm wanting to dive in. I'm always trying to learn new things. I'm trying to dive into like cybersecurity, which is totally opposite of what I'm doing right now. But my dad always told me, you can never stop learning. So I mean, if I can get classes for free to learn how to do something else that may benefit me later. Absolutely. But when it came to writing, and podcasting, I literally just bootstrapped it, it just did it. And now that you're active in those environments, are there any resources that you use now or see now that you wish you would have used earlier in regards to I'm also trying to get a nonprofit up and running? And there are some amazing resources for that. If you need to get a patent, or trademark, there is a company that does it for free for military spouse, families, it's based off of income. So and it's done through the National, what is it the national patent organization, I don't know exactly the name for it. But it's an amazing company. They will connect you with a lawyer who will literally do IT pro bono, you only have to pay for whatever the fees are for the applications, which is minimal. So that was one resource that I feel like a lot of people don't know about. And it was an incredible resource. That was one of the best things that ever came across. Because there was no way I would have ever been able to even get the nonprofit heading in the right direction. If I didn't have that I would have never been able to afford it.

Really yours so multitalented? Thank you, you don't give yourself enough credit, to be honest with you. I'm glad that I met you. I actually met reata in clubhouse early on. I just bought a microphone. And I didn't know what I was doing. I was just kind of floundering around and we connected that way. But I want to pivot now to talk about, you know, you just mentioned you're doing a nonprofit, but you're involved in trying but a the first step is the first step. Right. So you're headed in that direction. And you're also a podcaster to what inspired you to start a podcast and in I know you do it with your cousin but whose idea was it?

It's funny, it started off as a joke, because we our family is. I mean, I know everybody's family is crazy. I feel like our family is extra crazy. There's always there's always something and my mom and her sisters and brother, they're still fighting about things that happened 30 years ago. So Connie and I joked that we should do a podcast and just talk about how crazy our family is. And that's how it started. We're like let's just get on and like, let people know that they're not the only ones that have a crazy family. It's called How to deal with the shit gets real, which is a regular occurrence in our which is where the name came from. But we finally were just like let's do it. You know if nobody ever listens to it, whatever. We'll have fun with it. And it's brought Connie and I a lot closer, we weren't as close when we were younger, just because we're seven years apart. So you know, when she was, by the time she was old enough, I was in college, and we just never really could be super close because of our age gap. So it brought us a lot closer, we have a ton of fun with it. So the first year, we just talked about anything and everything that everybody deals with relationships, anxiety, moving remodeling, pretty much any topic we could think of, we talked about COVID, a little bit how people have been adjusting to working at home. And then we started interviewing, which that was my goal, personally, all along was to interview because I know how powerful it is to share people's stories and let other people know that they're not alone. And even if one person's life has changed from listening to one episode of our podcast, then it was all worth it. And John Peck was our first interview. And he's a good friend of mine now. And he's hopefully if we get this nonprofit up and going, I keep hoping that if I keep talking about it, it's gonna keep going. He, he came on and told his incredible story, and it just has spun from there. And we've literally had people reach out to us now. And it's, it's grown well past what I actually thought it would I checked last night or the night before, and we're in the top 10%, which is amazing. Yeah, and it's just, it's, it's been a blessing in so many different ways.

Would you mind talking a little bit about that nonprofit?

Oh, gosh, if we can ever get it up going. And the the vision originally was for a way to connect to vets with either other vets or mentors, just because you know, the suicide rates are way too high, right? 22 veterans a day one is too many. So it was one of our ways to try to combat suicide rates with John, which John obviously is very passionate about everything that happened with him. I don't know when he talked to you if he talked to you about his whole suicide motions that he went through. So he has felted himself, which is why he's one of the perfect board members because he can relate to these guys so much. So we were just trying to connect either with mentors or fellow Marines, because when you talk to veterans, one of the things that they say the most is they miss the camaraderie they miss the Brotherhood. And so we could just recreate that brotherhood in some way so that they know that they're not alone. We thought we think we can help combat the suicide rates. So that's the main goal.

Yeah, you're such I mean, you are such an influencer. And Avi just brought up the GoFundMe that you have right now for your for your is your cousin Mitch.

Yeah. So that's Connie's brother. So yes, he's my cousin.

Yeah. And you so far, you've raised quite a bit for that you and your family raise quite a bit for that. Oh, yeah. How's he doing? By the way,

he's actually doing really well, they moved him to what's called Shirley Ryan, which is a rehab facility in downtown Chicago, they actually have a bunch of locations. So he's working on getting his strength back, his upper body is good. I guess I should say he dove into a lake and hit his head. So he had a C seven fracture. That was scary for a while we didn't think he while the doctor, which she never should have said came out and said that he didn't think he was going to walk again. But it's looking very promising his upper body works. He just needed to get some dexterity back in his fingers. And you know, after laying in bed, for gosh, it was what three weeks, you lose all that muscle. So he's in therapy now working on getting his muscles strengthening back and he is very motivated. He wants to walk out of there. So I mean, that alone is going to be able to get him really far. And we've been praying for him. And the amount of money like you said, that's been raised has been incredible. He's a fireman. So it literally spread to like every fire station in the area. And there was fire departments that were coming together and giving $5,000 from just the fire department.

Oh, it's absolutely amazing. And going back to you talking about your podcasts really quick. Overall, how do you think that journeys been? And aside from me, who's been probably one of your most interesting guests on your show?

You definitely have been one of the most interesting. Oh, gosh, it's so hard to pick one because we've had so many different ones. And they've been so awesome in so many different ways. We just recently just because it's most recently, my mind had a guy that was diagnosed with cerebral palsy when he was really young. And his mother was told that he would never walk. And he now runs marathons. So he went from never being able to walk to running marathons. They told him he never be able to do anything. He played baseball. And now he's a mindset coach and talks about how important mindset is, but just hearing that whole story of how they went from he'd never be able to walk to him running marathons was just overwhelmingly inspirational. And of course, John, John has John's story. gets me every time. Anytime I have a bad day. I'm like, I go look at John's Instagram, because it's just his power and strength. Like I don't know if I could have done that if I was him. And I guess for people don't know, John came back from Afghanistan, a quadruple amputee, he stepped on an IED in Afghanistan. And he's since head to real arms transplanted. Gosh, it's been I think this August was four years. And he's, he's come a long way. I mean, just being able to be only the second person in the world to have real arms put on your body. I mean, anytime I tell anybody his story, they're like, Wow, that's incredible.

I want to say John was actually I think the fourth or fifth interview that I had, when I started the podcast. And I got connected with him through you, I really appreciated you, you doing that he was an absolutely genuine, authentic individual. And Reatta, you're surrounded by folks like your cousin, the gentleman that you just mentioned, you got John Peck over here. And really, I believe in the human spirit, that when, when you tell people that you can't do something, people are at their best. And I think that's how that's how you got to be, whenever the odds are against you. You figure out other ways on how to make it worthwhile, and how to make it worth living. And John was certainly one of those folks. And I'll make sure that I post his information on the show notes as well, as well as the GoFundMe for your cousin for folks to continue donating to that, and hopefully he can get back on his feet and get back to work to doing his his brave job of being a firefighter, which I'm sure that's something that he's super passionate about.

Yeah, very much. So yeah. And we appreciate that as a family. And, you know, he's only 25 years old, his life had just started, he just got married. So anything and everything, even just prayers are appreciated, because he's gonna need them to stay strong. And yet, I love John too, because he has, like, he has not let what happened to him ruin his humor. He's, he's holy. He makes the most inappropriate jokes. But

I know, I know. He was definitely sort. He was certainly an inspiration for me as well. And I enjoyed interviewing him. And, you know, all these things that we're talking about the folks that you're connected with, and the amount of support that you had on GoFundMe, a lot of that, to some extent is tied back to you being the social media influencer, that you are, you know, I understand Kyle is, is currently on TDY. Right now he's not, he's not at home. So you're running the household, you're taking care of the kids, you're doing your your full time job, which is being an author and being a podcaster, and everything. To date, you have 35, over 3500 followers on Instagram, and all those 3500 followers are organically grown. And that is extremely impressive. And, but what's also impressive is the amount of engagement that you have with those followers, you post something and you literally have, you know, 100 likes and all these comments and stuff, which which is outstanding. What are several lesser known things that folks out there specifically know, spouses who might be listening can do if they're looking to follow in your footsteps to get that engagement and that organic growth on their social media platforms.

I think one thing that's a little undervalued, but it's so straightforward, is you have to be social on social media, you can't just put something up there and expect people to comment on your stuff, and then not do anything back. Because you know, it's just like a conversation, it'd be like having a one sided conversation, people aren't going to be interested in a one sided conversation, you have to get on there and like people stuff and leave comments, and send the messages and engage with them so that they know that you're an actual person, and not just a person behind these photos. And it seems so straightforward. But I think a lot of us forget about it. Like we just want to have all these followers and not have to engage but you have to, you have to engage with your followers, you have to post pictures and all those things to get people to talk back and forth with you. And another thing that I refuse to do, just because I have to. And I actually talked to my girlfriend Jasper about it, which is the same girl that I talked about earlier that helped me get the podcast up and running is you don't have to follow what they're telling you to do. Like right now, the big algorithms on Instagram are saying that you have to do real reels, get the number one attention. That's what everybody wants to do. But not everybody is creative that way. You shouldn't have to feel like you have to follow a certain path to be successful. And I am a creative person and when you try to tell me I have to be creative in a certain way. That's a no go for me. I am not somebody who can make, I mean, my hat goes off to people that make these amazing reels. I am not that person, I'm not going to spend five hours creating a reel, that's 15 seconds long, like, I just No, thank you. So you have to be creative in a way that works for you. And you don't have to follow what you think you have to, like, I'm not going to conform, because Instagram wants me to following that same mentality there. Yetta, I want to note is it easy to get lost in the trends and the current state of social media, when trying to communicate your journey and your message to other people? It can be because you know, you want to appeal to the masses, right? You want your, you want to be what everybody's talking and thinking about. But sometimes that's hard. Like, right now there's all this, you know, COVID going on, all this divide is happening. And people are expecting you to find to fall, excuse me, people are expecting you to fall on one side of the line or the other. And I don't think you have to, there's no one side of the line or the other you, You be you and people will come to you, if they like you. It's the same thing when you make friends. Some people are gonna like you, some people aren't. And that's okay. And the reason that I've found success recently with Instagram is because I get on there, and I talk to people, and I connect with people. And the podcast has been helpful, too. I feel like every guest that we have had, has become our friends, or acquaintances, even our last guests sent me a rubber duck in the mail, he spent $20 to send me a rubber duck from Australia. I mean, just because he wanted me to have one. And I mean, who does. And we've just had amazing people. And I really feel blessed that the podcast has given me all that. And honestly, I've had a lot of success with other writers more than military spouses, we follow each other because I think we understand how hard the journey is and how hard it is to get followers and get people to buy your books and to not just be in the super saturated market alone. So that's you got to kind of find the people that are feeling what you feel and on on not necessarily a similar journey, but kind of a journey, that's the same, and then you can connect and empower each other to get through that journey. I agree. And I agree. And you know, that is one of the main appeals of social media nowadays, there's a niche for everybody. And as long as you can filter in and find the people through SEO, or just organic algorithm appearances, you can get a following a massive following of people who have the same mentality, or the same drive or even the same interest as you, and you can cultivate that type of community. And that's something we see very, very present in the veteran community, among male spouses between podcasters between writers, it really is awesome to see. Yeah, it's amazing. I mean, I just had a guy reach out, that I never would have even thought to talk to us to be on the podcast, he was convicted of rape and murder when he was 16, spent 17 years in jail, and then got exonerated by DNA evidence. And he reached out to me to be on the podcast, he's like, I need to share my story. And I'm like, I would love to have you on and share your story. I mean, holy crap, talk about a story that needs to be told.

Yeah, I definitely think that folks like you are very inspirational when it comes to just taking that first step, being authentic, and then sharing a piece of yourself. And I think that's what attracts people to the things that you're involved with on social media, as well as any media such as podcasting. And I think out of everything that we've talked about so far, so far, those three things are the most important things for any military spouse out there listening, who might be interested in also following your footsteps to be kind of your own boss. Maybe you have dreams of writing a book, which thinking about even just thinking about writing a 300 page book plus, for many folks can sound like a task that's not for them. But in reality, I think you'd be surprised if you take out a pen and paper or just turn on your computer and pull up Microsoft Word and just start jabbing away at the keys. You might surprise yourself at what comes out. And in this conversation that we've had. Those are the three things that I've kind of pulled from it was just simply being authentic, taking those first steps, and not being afraid to share yourself. And that's one of the reasons why I named this podcast the morning formation podcast for me as a former military leader, that first formation, it's suck getting up in the morning. I hate it. I'm not a morning person. Not really. But when we were in formation, we were able to take accountability. share stories of what we did over the week. Ken, what's going on with your family, it was the one time for our, our multi cultured of Platoon, Company, whatever you're in, to come together as one unit. And some of the things you just talked about now that being a very divided country, we need to fall back into formation and talk to each other, and share those stories. And that's why this is the morning formation. But also it's important. It's an important message for me today to get out. And those spouses out there who are thinking about, you know, I want to write that book, I want to do it via social media influencer, I want to do a podcast, take that first step. And not only that, but follow Rihanna, look at what she's doing. With a lot of her platforms out there. Be authentic. And don't be afraid to share yourself.

You know, we had a during our clubhouses, the military pact, sometimes you see military spouses come in, who are often lost or can feel anchored down because of their military affiliation. And sometimes that can discourage them from pursuing what they really are passionate about, whether that be a professional career or personal hobbies, what would you say is a main distinguishing factor that can differentiate a male spouse from potentially missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime and pursuing their dream? I mean, this life is hard. I'm not even gonna try to say that it's not because it is. And we're the only ones that really understand it. And just to backtrack, just a little just to what you were saying, KP, just as a reminder to you know, this has become such an instant gratification. Like world, just know that if things don't happen for you right away, don't stop. Because I'm telling you right now, I've wanted to pull my hair out. So many times with Instagram, trying to gain followers because it's just slow. So if it doesn't happen for you right away, just throwing that out there, like, I know, it's hard because we're so we're so used to, you can drive through a drive thru, and in 30 seconds, you can have food or you can go, you know, everything is so instant, you have your phone on you, you can get instant information. It's not like that with everything else. So just just because you don't see instant success, don't stop. And then as far as the military spouse community, it's so important that we lean on each other, because we understand what each other are going through. And even if that person that you're leaning on isn't having the same goals or desires as you that doesn't mean they can't support you, or help you find the resources that you need. Like Kp and I, for instance, we met on clubhouse we had never met before. And he just randomly was like, Hey, will you help me? And I said, Absolutely. You know, you never know if somebody is going to help you or not the only way he knows if you ask. And the worst thing that they can do is say no, because maybe they don't have time or whatever it may be. But I mean, that goes back to that old adage, you, it's always know if you don't ask, but you have to ask. And this community gets a lot of bad rap. There's a lot of shitty things that are said about military spouses. We're called dependents, we're called orals, all sorts of things. But when it comes down to brass tacks, it really is an amazing community. And if you can find those people that can help and support you, they will. And I mean, the last time I was at the market here, we've been having a market where literally military spouses can come and they sell all their goods. It's not only giving the military spouses the opportunity to sell whatever it is they're selling cups, food books, whatever. It's also providing money for the unit, because there's a unit that's running it. So they're raising money for their balls. So it's like a double positive thing. The unit's getting what they need. And the military spouses are getting exposure to that they need to look for things like that in your community swap meets markets. I mean, there's all sorts of things they have a daily job fair, or not a daily, a monthly job fair here. I mean, there's so many you just have to get on. A lot of times, there's like Facebook pages for the basis, just get on the Facebook page for the base, find some sort of thing that's happening and go and meet people and make connections and do the things that will create a support group around you. That's the thing that's, I think, work the best for me. And clubhouse was an amazing thing that started out that way. I met so many amazing people on there. I mean, I met I met KP I met. I met Kimberly McKay, who is an absolutely amazing author and her and I have we bought each other's books, and we've been on each other's podcasts and that wouldn't have happened if I didn't get on clubhouse.

Yes, I suppose. Definitely. There's all kinds of new platforms showing up out there. And for anyone out there interested in either finding your books or subscribing to your podcast, what's the best way for them to find you on these platforms,

so if they wanted to not have to remember a million different things, if they just go to my website, read a book, calm, like it gives links for everything, I get links, because my books are on Amazon, so you can find them on Amazon. But if you just want to go to on my website, the website will connect you to the podcast, to the books to my blog, I also write a regular blog too. And I think that's it. I guess that's everything. So it's all on there.

I'll make sure that I locate all your different platforms and put them in the show notes for this for this specific podcast as well. But definitely, if you get an opportunity follow Rihanna. I know she's getting ready to leave Hawaii and go to her husband's next duty station, which is going to be on the east coast. So that's pretty exciting. But it's been an absolute pleasure. Talking to you today. Avi, do you have anything before we wrap things up?

No, I think Riyadh had a bunch of great messages. And it's how it's great to see the community that you're cultivating through your online platforms and how you advocate for military spouses, podcasters writers, moms alike. It's awesome to see. Well, thank you so much. And thank you guys for having me. It's fun. It's been fun, like new way to drink my coffee in the morning, hang out with KP. And Avi,

I think that Rihanna does a great job. As far as bridging the gap between civilian spouses and military spouses, I noticed that you have a good mixture of folks who are following you on Instagram as well. And a lot of your guests are both they're involved in the military or in part of the Military Committee, then you have guests who are not in the military committee, but have other inspiring stories. And I think you're doing an outstanding job reata. And I'm honored to be considered part of your circle of friends. And I'm actually very fortunate to have you because you've helped me out quite a bit, just as Avi has, and so many other folks with acne education. So the pleasure is all mine. I appreciate it. I hope that if you're a military spouse, or even a military member listening right now or a veteran, I hope that you're able to pull out of this episode. The message today, and that is to simply take that first step. If you have dreams and you have goals, and you know you want to get launched and whether it's getting published or it's just simply posting something on social media, get to it. You don't have to wait until you are an expert at everything. Just take that first step off and learn as you go and make those connections with folks out there. It's it's something that military spouses can do veterans service members, anyone so with that being said, I appreciate everybody for listening today. As for Avi Reatta, and myself Fallout