Helpful Tips to Staying Focused & Organized in 2022 with Shelby Hebing

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If you're not thinking about what can I do now to make the most of that next chapter, through education or through, you know, going to the gym and developing a really good health routine and taking care of myself, where you're going to be at 20 years from now is going to be totally different. If you do not make the most of the opportunity of taking care of yourself now and putting in the work to get the education or take care of yourself through other means.

Or yours fall in, it's time for formation. Today, we're joined with a military spouse who is a career development advisor and military transition advocate. She's held positions as as an education and guidance counselor for our military community, and has experienced all the ups and downs of what it means to be a military spouse, because her husband is currently serving in the United States Army. Today, she's going to talk with us about organizing, organizing yourself, and preparing for your life and your goals in 2022. I'd like to honorably welcome Shelby heaving to the to the show today. Thank you for being here on the morning formation.

Okay, PM, I'm grateful to be here. So I hope that you know, we can really get this conversation going everyone ready for 2022, we had so many conversations in clubhouse early on, when I used to host a military mix up before life just got really hectic and things started opening back up. And

there were a number of times that you provided so much information, so much support so much advice for folks out there in the military community that were looking for guidance. And and that's, you know, one of the reasons why I wanted to get you on the show. And I'd like to ask you, Shelby, how many years have you been a military spouse and so far, how's the journey been?

So technically, I have been a staff for five years. And in that five years, this is the fourth place that I've lived since we got married. So it's definitely been an adventure. But my husband, I've been together about 10 or 11 years now. So this isn't a new rodeo. For me, I'm not, I wouldn't consider myself a seasoned stuff. But I'm not necessarily a novice das either. So definitely been around the block a time or two with the ups and downs that come with being part of the military. And, you know, five years is quite a long time in in respect to understanding that being a military spouse versus just a civilian spouse is a complete different culture in itself. What are some of the differences that that you've had to endure over the span of those five years? I think the biggest thing that probably most people kind of have on their radar ready is the self employment issues that do come up with the military commitment of the service member, as I mentioned, is this my fourth place that I've lived in my husband, I've gotten married, and he was already approaching the senior NCO side of the house. So with that comes, you know, more normative positions, more responsibility, things like that, to where his job just becomes more and more time consuming, you know, and precious, as far as trying to make a balance of that time, with family in military obligations, and just having, you know, that work as part of your life. So for me, trying to incorporate the mission of being a military spouse, while also having my own career journey. And career development has always been a present challenge for us specifically, but I know it's something that every military spouse kind of goes through when it comes to this life. So I would say that's probably the biggest struggle that

and difference between being military versus being civilian. And then just the frequent moves, having to uproot your life and reestablish that community, every time that you move, is something that I think most people just kind of take for granted or just aren't really not aware of when it comes to the full military family commitment. So I can say this much as much as from since since the time I've transitioned out of the military. One of the things that I've seen before with military spouses, is sacrifice of time. Many times when it comes to civilian versus military, that that culture of being a spouse in the military, you the service member has a tendency of going on TDY going on deployments. And it's funny that when I transitioned out of the military, and I would hear my neighbors who are civilians, complain about, oh my, my, my husband or my wife is going to go away for two or three days and I'm thinking to myself, that's nothing Okay, that's nothing like try To be a military spouse, and you know, be independent on yourself and be the one that's actually holding down the household, having your own career in itself, being at a place where you're uncomfortable, because you don't have that family support. And so you're forced to step outside that comfort zone, and create a family with the community that you have around you. Maybe it's folks within your your spouse's unit, or maybe it's other folks that you meet around the base. And you have to develop those those relationships. And unfortunately, and, you know, usually four years or so you got to say goodbye to those people and move on to the next place. So it is a huge, huge challenge for folks out there and in their relationships, and my hat goes off to you, even though it's been five years. And and you know, you say it's not a lot of time, I think it's a lot of time to learn the ins and outs and how to how to navigate that overall culture and try to be trying to be optimistic. And I want to ask you, Shelby, as far as time management goes, you know, we talked about having to move having to get reacquainted again, with everything I saw on your LinkedIn that you are certified for 15 secrets successful people know about time management, can you share how we can use what you learned from getting that certification? How can we utilize that going into 2022? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think time management is definitely one of those soft skills that we tend to take for granted. Because we just kind of let life take control of US versus us taking control of our time. But time is, you know, one of those scarce resources that, you know, we do have the ability to take control of and or make the most of, because we're we are the, you know, the ultimate master of our time. So I think it's important to recognize that, and also take advantage of that through planning, and, you know, reflection. So one of the big things, you know, when it comes to time management, I think is, you know, again, not letting it control you, I think one of the biggest things that I've learned from that training that you're referring to, was that, you know, we have so many tasks that can again, just kind of bring us here, there and everywhere. But it's actually the prioritization of those tasks by importance, that allows us to accomplish those tasks, and make the most of our time and being successful with that. There's also, you know, working from a schedule, some people tend to just kind of, you know, work from a to do list, things like that, in the short term tasks, yes, they are great to accomplish. But there is other overarching goals that, you know, we may have as individuals or as a family, that do need to get tackled, as well. So taking the time to actually work from a schedule, and also reserving time for yourself in that too, because successful people, they don't accomplish everything they accomplished, because they you know, have an extra chromosome that makes them super special, and that they're just genetically prone to being successful, it's actually the fact that they take time to focus on themselves, while also focusing on their goals. Because it's one thing to again, you know, accomplish things here, there and everywhere, that people that are successful, tend to actually schedule and protect time in their schedules for relaxation, for the tasks that, you know, help them achieve, excuse me, those long term goals. So I think that's something that, you know, most people kind of take for granted in the process of trying to reach the goals that they have for themselves, whether that's for the year or for, you know, the quarter, because they are so focused on just getting through the day or, you know, life happens. And that kind of takes priority over something. You know, one of the things that I've seen people struggle with over the years is, you know, you're right, taking time for yourself is extremely important. It's important to make sure that those things that you that you do, while you're taking that time for yourself are positive. So spending your time drinking or spending your time at the bar, or spending your time doing anything that is not still helping you in some way, shape, shape, or form is probably not the best thing to do. And I've been at places in my life where I can tell you, I've had options where I could go to the bar, I could go drinking, I could do all these things, and I've chosen to go to the gym. I really got heavily involved in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu about 11 years ago. Thankfully, I just so happen to end up working with a guy and him and I were talking and I said, I said Yeah, I used to wrestle in high school, and he goes, Well, I've really been thinking about getting into grappling and jujitsu. And would you be interested in like helping me since we don't know what we're doing to just jump in it together as white belts? And I said, Sure, let's do it. And it was hard to start something new like that. But in the back of my mind, I knew that I had those choices. And right, you know, making the right choice choosing on those Fridays and Saturday nights to go to the gym versus going to the bars was something that I focused on. And it helped keep me focused with my career, even through those tough times. Have you had any experience with that with maybe folks that you've known? Or maybe helping folks try to make better decisions than then than what they would make on their own? Oh, yeah, no, absolutely. So in my previous position, working as a guidance counselor, my sole purpose was to help service members utilize their active duty education benefits. And with the military life, I think, again, it is so easy to get caught up in learning the new job getting settled the duty station, you know, meeting people, things like that, that education tends to fall to the wayside. And the military does a really good job of helping servicemembers focus on the present moment, which can be a valuable skill, but they'd become so focused just from what I've witnessed, so focused on the present moment that they forget about the long term. And those long term goals are really are what going to project us into, you know, future careers, future aspirations for life after the military. And I think that, again, soldiers don't really, Soldier servicemembers don't really take the time, and they're not really motivated to focus on the things like you said, like going to the gym working on, you know, developing a healthy routine, focusing on themselves bettering themselves through education. So when I do ask servicemembers, what do you plan to do after the military? Even though they joined three years ago, it's still important to know, what is that next step long term, you know, plant that feet, and many of them are very confused by that question taken back by it. But, you know, it's so important, again, long term, whether the military is gonna be part of your life for this season. Or it's a future career that tends to lead to retirement. If you're not thinking about what can I do now to make the most of that next chapter, through education, or through, you know, going to the gym and developing a really good health routine and taking care of myself, where you're going to be at 20 years from now is going to be totally different if you do not make the most of the opportunity of taking care of yourself now and putting in the work to get that education or take care of yourself through other means. Yeah, that's some great advice. You're right, having not having a a, I guess direction, can really lead to some some long term depression. And a lot of folks tend to look back at their life, and they look back at what they've accomplished and what they haven't accomplished. And I know a lot of folks that, especially in today, we have a lot of noise. We have social media, we have mindless videos out there just floating around that will keep you algorithms that will keep you stuck on certain social platforms for hours and hours and hours. And at the end of it all, you're unaccomplished, and you haven't done anything. So it's really hard to get to get through that. And when I was a platoon leader, that was one of the things that I did was I tried to emphasize the importance of getting that education. And since you are an education counselor, we are can you kind of talk about the opportunities that are out there that are not being taken advantage of when I when I linked up with ACN education, and started talking to VTi, about project management certifications, about leadership certifications, a lot of these things are free, and they're available. You don't have to go out and get a college degree necessarily, but you can work towards the smaller certifications that are out there. Can you talk a little bit about your experience as an education counselor? And what you discovered as far as what's available out there and what people typically don't take advantage of? Yeah, so I mean, with active duty, we'll we can start there. Cuz I think that's, you know, Pivotal. Right now, the way that the education system is set up for our active duty service members, they have access to tuition assistance, which is to work towards their education in the form of academic degrees. And then there's also the credentialing assistance side of the house that focuses on certifications. So both of those again, come out of your every fiscal year allotment for education benefits. So you can do a combination of one of the two or you can focus on 111 or the other. Currently, the Army is providing funding for over 1500 certifications. So, speaking specifically from the Army, you know, as long as you are eligible by the credentialing agency standards, such as project management institute to pursue a PMP certification, the army would provide funding for that. And every branch does have different specifications for the requirements for funding and how they allot that funding. So I can't specifically speak to the other branches. But I know that the army will allow you to pursue any as long as it falls under that, the allotment that you have for the fiscal year funding wise. And then again, the other side of the house, which most people are already familiar with is the tuition assistance side. So getting that for academic degrees. So you, you get funding for a undergraduate degree, a graduate degree, and an academic certificate through the army specifically, again, depending on your branch and may vary. But specifically for Army, you can fund to full degrees, just using your tuition, your active duty benefits, which is pretty awesome. I think most people, you know, leave a lot of money on the table every year when it comes to their education benefits. And in some assignments, of course, are not going to lie at the time, the true time to focus on your education, but there are some opportunities where, you know, it is an option for you, and then you just don't take advantage of it. And then outside of that, obviously, you know, for our transitioning servicemembers, there are a lot of organizations that have stepped up to help try to fill that gap and provide wraparound services that servicemembers didn't otherwise get through their transition programs that are sponsored by the DOD. So with that, like you said, there's ACN education. So that's education resources for service members. That's for certification training, I know they have a current partnership with course there to provide free access to that as well have certain pathways that servicemembers can use for that. There's also onward opportunity through the institution for military and veteran families. They sponsor a certification, one certification per service member, and military spouses as well. So that's also great. Through the organization, they also provide some career support through that organization when you complete that program as well. So there are services out there that do yes, they focus on the certification side of the house. But I think they're also trying to provide more again, wraparound service that you don't otherwise get through the traditional means, while you're going through transition. Yeah, at the end of the day, it reminds me of when I would, when I would get the opportunity to stand in front of my platoon, and, you know, talk about information and also try to motivate folks to make better decisions, I would always tell them to get down to the education center and just simply talk to a counselor to figure out what options and what options are out there for them and also help them develop their own goals on where they want to be within the next three to four years or so. That's one of the that's one of the the gaps that I felt like was my job as a commissioned officer in the United States Army was to sort of be that voice because a lot of these young kids when they go, I say young kids, young adults, when a lot of young adults get stationed somewhere. They're not around family, they're getting a paycheck, and they're living in barracks. And it's up to us as leaders, to help make them make better choices. Because the folks that truly loved them are not physically there, to help them make those choices and to mentor them. So I kind of saw myself as that person. And it was really hard, because it's really frustrating, because sometimes they wouldn't listen to you. But at the end of the day, I think as long as you planted that seed in their head, I was hopeful that at some point in time, they would heed the advice and and go to the Education Center. And there was a few of my soldiers that actually went through and, and did finally go and some of them actually became commissioned officers themselves. So you know that that's a that's quite, it's quite a big thing for me to be a part of somebody's journey. When you get that kind of feedback from someone. And Shelby, I see here that you also receive training in a in a leader certification course. Would you mind talking to the audience? who I'm talking to the audience, who may be seeking to prepare for any type of career pivots going into the new year? Yeah, absolutely. So I've actually attended two different trainings. One is through the leader transition Institute. That was an amazing organization. And they do, it's a weekend specific cohort. And you go through the program, I believe there was like 20 or so of us. And you focus on mainly focusing for those who are preparing for transition out of the military. There is also for spouses who may be going through that transition with their servicemembers themselves, or just as a spouse, because we go through so many transitions through the military career that it's advantageous for us to just be prepared for that whether we're doing an opportunity to pivot into something else because the opportunity that we had previously is no longer at the next duty station or You know, if we're just deciding to move into a different area that will provide more opportunity for us as we continue this military life. And so a lot of what we talked about in that specific training was about vision. And I think that's a part of the New Year's resolutions that gets overlooked a part of that process. Because if you don't have a vision or vision statement to help guide you, kind of like we were talking about earlier, without that guide, post those goals or resolutions that you continue to make for yourself, they're going to always fall short, because you don't have the vision statement to support the goals that you're making for yourself. So I think that that can be a pivotal part of the process, especially as we're thinking about 2022. And getting ready for the new years thinking about that vision statement of Who do I want to become in this year? And what steps can I take to get there, and that's really, I think, where those goals should come in. Whereas versus the, I want to develop a workout routine, or I want to eat healthier this year, I want to lose 30 pounds. Now, they're all great goals, and they are attainable. However, it depends on if they actually fall into your vision and values that you have for yourself, and for your family, for your life, etc. Yeah, vision and values is something that that never ends, I think even at 41 years old, I'm still learning what my values are. And I think now more than ever. In my life, I can say this much, my values have been challenged more than anything else. And a lot of it is because I've just grown and I've become more experienced more aware of who I am and what I stand for. And not everyone in your life is going to follow the same values as you. And it's not to say that you can't associate with them or talk to them friends or family, it's just, you have to understand that and they have values, and you have your own values, too. So I think that's great. And as far as vision, I was just talking to someone the other day about a vision board, and how important it is to actually write down your goals and where you want to go where you see yourself going forward. And that's something that I I thankfully did when I was much younger, was to try to plan three to five years out on you know, career wise and professional. And, Shelby, I want to ask you, for folks out there who struggle with taking that first step executing, which is action is everything when you're looking at moving towards goals. Do you have any advice for folks who might be lacking the courage and stalling themselves from taking that initial leap? Yeah, I mean, I think that, you know, getting started is, you know, I think the hardest part, you know, much like going to the gym, getting to the gym is the hardest part, I think of that workout routine. So once you're there, you're like, Okay, let's, you know, let's knock it out. And I think that, especially with the vision that, you know, it sounds like a daunting thing. But it's really, it's fairly simple. And I know, like he said, you know, we change, and we grow, and we evolve, especially as the experiences that we continue to have that help develop our worldview. And I think that's the beauty of the vision is like, it's, it's evolving, it's ever changing. It's a fluid concept. But you know, because everything that we're doing up to this point is really just a snapshot of that moment. Because, you know, I think part of the beauty of the vision board is, you know, to do those monthly check ins to do this correlate check in is like is this where is this my stone, my compass is this. So my North Star, and it's okay to change and evolve that, especially as you know, you have new experiences. But for those who are kind of just getting started and kind of looking to figure out how are they going to make the most of this 2022 year that we have coming up? I think the biggest thing is to kind of take a moment to reflect, I think we're so quick to be in the moment, are we thinking, you know, down the line, but if we actually take a moment to sit and think about, you know, you know, let's develop a baseline of thinking about the last 12 months, you know, what about that last 12 months? was good, what do we want to carry over into the year maybe we did develop some of these, you know, values are skills that we want to be part of that 2022 person. So, you know, what are things that we want to take along on that journey with us? And then what are some of those things that we want to leave behind? Because, you know, there's not, there's always an opportunity to let go of things granted, some things you know, will carry over regardless. But if there are some things that you know, don't align with your values, or aren't going to help you reach those goals that you do want to make for yourself, to try and leave those behind when it comes to moving forward into that 2022 year. And then with the visions, like who do you want to become? Who do you want to be looking at 12 months from now and say, I did all of these things. What are the things that you want to accomplish? What's going to be part of that person that you want to be in this next year? You know, how do you want to feel? Who do you want to you know, Do you want to be what do you want to be part of you in that process of, you know, becoming your better self. I think that's the part of again, that goal setting that people aren't really thinking about. There's, you have to think of your ultimate goal before you can really get into those actionable goals. Well, I can really see the counselor side of you coming out right there when you start when you started talking about goals and vision. And it is important to reflect because you got to ask yourself, are you happy with where you are in 2021? And what you talked about the good, the bad, and the ugly, when it comes to writing down what you've done? What's good, what's bad? What can you improve on that's in the military in the army, I don't know if your husband's ever shared this with you. But every time we do a training exercise, we at the end of the training exercise, we do an AAR, which is an after action review. Have you heard that before? Yeah, so I mean, everyone, you know, gets together, they sit around and somebody leads the actual conversation and says, Okay, so what, what were the good things that came out of this training event, or this event that we had, and you write it down, write down the good, the bad, and what can we improve on? And, you know, when you're sitting there, around a group of folks, just because of the differences, perspectives of rank, and the different perspectives of overall experiences, you are sometimes surprised at what folks can come up with as far as ingenuity with what can be improved upon. And as a leader, that was something that I always did. And I thought that was a very, very helpful tool. Another thing I want to underline that you just mentioned was, Who do you want to become? Where do you see yourself next year? If you aren't happy with where you are now versus where you are in January? 2021? What are you going to change? What are you going to improve on? And she'll be in 2022? How do you think our community can become better organized and prepared for the new year? What advice do you have for them? Well, I mean, I think definitely taking time to do some of that reflection and work on a vision statement, whether it's like you said, doing kind of like a vision board, or some people are more visual, or taking the time to actually write out, you know, those things that you want to be part of your life, whether that's for the next year, or just an overall vision for a long term, maybe three to five years out that you can start working towards in the next year. Because I think, again, we just kind of get caught up in the, you know, the hustle and bustle of everyday life. And that is going to happen to anybody, even the most successful people get caught up in you know, life, especially with ups and downs in the military. But I know that some people benefit from actually having that vision out where they can look at it every single day, or, you know, whether that's again, that written version of it, or looking at that vision board every day where they keep it you know, in your office or keep it as a screensaver on your phone, just as a constant reminder of what you're striving to be or who you're striving to become. And again, like kind of tearing those goals. So you may have goals for the overall year. Again, I want to be healthier version of myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and then breaking that down into action, actionable goals, because those yearly goals are going to be more overarching. So coming up with goals that are actually going to be achievable, you know, check off that to do list kind of goals, I think is important too. And I know you kind of touched on earlier too, is you know that accountability. So you know, having if you have a battle buddy, that you can say, hey, like, these are my goals, and maybe their goals are different than yours, but say I just need someone to hold me accountable. Because if I'm doing this by myself, I know that I'm not going to be able to be as successful. So just having someone to check in to say, hey, you know, how are you doing your goal is is how I'm doing on my goals, or how can we help each other what goals are similar that we can work on together, whether that's we want to eat healthier. So we're going to go meal prep at your house on Sundays, and then we're gonna go meal prep at my house on Wednesdays, so that we can really focus on getting that synergy going. And we can continue to support each other and achieving those goals. Because it's not just about that one person's goals. They're trying to meet goals together. And I think the other important part is just having grace for yourself. Give yourself permission to make mistakes to you know, fall off the rails a little bit. But having the discipline also to get back at those goals and only try to allow yourself to do things that are going to help you accomplish your goals and align with your values. Because when we start saying yes to things that don't align with our values and our goals, that's when we really start to get off track and off of the path that we're supposed to be on. certainly agree with what you're saying as far as criticism, self criticism, I should say. One of the things I struggled with early on especially with podcasting and social media was being perfect. And sometimes I would do a video over and over and over 30 times, and it was just a one minute to two minute video that I was doing. And you don't have to be perfect. That's the one thing, what's most important is executing and making, taking those actions. And you provided some some great advice for folks out there who need to get more organized and more accomplished going into the new year. Now, Shelby, as far as education goes, you've been a military spouse for five years, and you've been investing in yourself, and you've managed to accomplish so much just in those five years being a military spouse. What advice do you have for other military spouses out there who might be looking to feel more accomplished by the end of 2022? I don't, I think that, you know, education can come from old who things, whether that's leading on to, you know, having that community, and really leaning into that and learning from one another. I think there's also the opportunity to podcast books, you know, some of the more basic stuff as far as learning and growing as a person, because, you know, we don't always have access, especially as military spouses to those education opportunities. But again, a lot of those transitioning nonprofit organizations that are really working to help transitioning servicemembers are opening those opportunities up to spouses, which I think is amazing, because as I said, before, we're constantly transition, our transition. That big transition at the end of the military is like our final transition, we've already transitioned 10 Times up to that point. So I think for us, taking advantage of the opportunities in the area, is also a great one. Personally, I went up to the USO this past week, and just kind of checked in to see what resources do you have available for myself. And if I couldn't benefit from them personally, I could share them with other people. Because I think there's so many organizations that are even within the local military community that, you know, they may or may not have the most effective marketing, but they are there and available for you to take advantage of. So checking in with those organizations that are within the installation itself, I think is one of the lesser used or underutilized opportunities for military spouses to figure out what's in this local area for me, what can I take advantage of while I'm here, and who can help me do that. And there are some spouses, seasoned spouses that are on the base that can help you with this types of things. But I think just taking the time to explore and get yourself acclimated in your community is going to be the biggest opportunity to educate yourself. Yeah, unfortunately, the marketing for a lot of the opportunities that are out there is very low. And it's really up to you to put yourself in position to find those opportunities. And taking that first step like you just mentioned, going to uso and like I mentioned earlier, going to the Education Center physically going there. And or making a phone call on talking to someone is really gonna open a lot of doors, I've can speak that when I've actually told folks to go to act. Now Education's website, or to go to v2 eyes website, and to actually see what they got, or actually attend a meeting or, or webinar, folks are like, Wow, I did not realize how much opportunity is out there, and how much I have not been taking advantage of. So I completely understand what you're saying, Shelby, I just want to say thank you for providing our audience some great, helpful tips to move into 2022. Because we all want to feel more accomplished by the end of the year, I cannot believe that 2021 is over with it's it's we only have a couple weeks left before it's done. And it's really caused me to reflect back on myself in the last eight months since I started doing podcasting and all the hard work that's gone into it. And I'm going to take some of your advice right here as far as vision and really hold myself accountable with what went right, what went wrong. And what can I do better going into 2022? And shall be anyone out there interested in contacting you or following you on your social media platforms? Where can they find you? LinkedIn is probably going to be the easiest place to find me. Just because my personal Instagram is just, you know, pictures of my daughter. So probably nothing too exciting to find there. But LinkedIn is always a great place to connect with me. I do check that regularly. And that's especially if I'm connecting someone with another resource. That's going to be the absolute best place for me to be able to do that. So I would say LinkedIn is probably the best place. So Shelby with everything that's been said today. Would you like to summarize anything? Do you have any message for audience members out there? Or would you like to just do a shout out to anyone? Yeah, absolutely. I could not do this without my husband. Although the military has been a big part of his life and as a huge time commitment for him. He's always found a way to do allow me to continue to be an advocate for the military community and really supporting me in my career development as challenging as I've been with the military life, so really just want to make sure that I give him his credit where credit is due. Because he's been pivotal to me being able to do as much as I have accomplished and for allowing me to really take advantage of the opportunities that are available to military spouses. So I do just want to thank him. Yeah, having that support is absolutely crucial, and to progressing yourself in your career, and your own personal goals too. So that's, that's really great. It's been awesome talking to you today, Shelby. As for Shelby myself, this is the morning formation. I want you to stay tuned, stay focused, and stay motivated. Warriors. All Out